Harry Potter and the Odd Obsessions
by RiverGold
Summary: well, basicly it goes with the title. except Harry hasn't really come in to play yet. watch out world here comes the pink bellbottom clad chickendancing Severus Snape. and you can't forget Voldemort. I'm not even gonna mention his...
1. Chapter 1

79.00

HI! Welcome to chapter 1 of "Harry Potter and the Odd Obsessions". I would love to read any of your stories so REVEIW and ask me to read. Note! Chapter 2 will not be coming out until I feel like it and so it would be nice of you to butter me up with lots of reviews to fuel my oh-so-creative mind as all that creativeness takes lots of energy and the best food is reviews. Also, il n'appartient pas à moi et si vous pensez il je sait quelques doctors exellent.

оно не принадлежит к мне и если вы думаете, то оно я знаю некоторых хороших докторов

هو لا ينتسب إلى ي وإن أنت تفكّر هو يعرف أنا بعض دكاترة جيّدة.

den inte tillhörde mig och, om dig funderare som den mig vet, någon god manipulerar

Het behoort niet tot me en als u het denkt ken ik sommige goede artsen.

It does not belong to me and if you think it does I know some good doctors.

Lookit me! I know all those languages! I don't know what languages those are as I used a free Internet translator randomly but still! We all have our odd obsessions.

HARRY POTTER AND THE ODD OBESSIONS

The Death Scoffers at _'ye olde deathe shoppe_ were weirded out but not surprised to see their Lord and Master dancing around and singing in the corridor. Clearly he was going through another one of those fads. Snape shuddered as he remembered the make-your-own-cotton-candy machine. Lucie trembled at the thought of an easy bake oven. Bellatrix had taken up a habit of cursing any Barbie dolls she found at some innocent (now deceased) muggles house into oblivion. Mcnair took great pleasure in killing parrots; Avery dreaded cowboy hats and no one EVER wanted to see another cone of peach & peanut butter ice cream.

Wormtail hesitantly approached his master, careful not to make any sudden moves, in time to hear him join in a rousing chorus of:

Because of you…. I never stray to far from the sidewalk… because of you….

Then the music evidently changed because He began humming the tune and singing,

'Lonely I'm still lonely… I have nobody to call my own and it's lonely…I'm so lonely so lonely I have nobody to call my own.'

He spotted Wormtail and paused his music.

"Wormtail! Just the person I wanted to see! Schedule a party! We're all going to stay up all night listening to these CDs I took off a muggle!"

"A-A-A-t-t-t- o-o-n-n-ce m-m-my-y l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-lo-lo-lo-lor-lor-lor-lor-lord."

"Eeeexelant. Give me your arm."

Wormtail held out one of his arms. Voldemort took it and poked his dark mark. Wormtail flinched. Voldemort laughed and poked him again. Wormtail flinched again. Repeat cycle.

Halfway across the country -----

Snape looked at his arm in irritation. The new episode of "Sponge Bob Square Pants" had just come on and now he had to answer the call of his Dark Mark. Probably just some muggles too. Oh well, he did have his endless supply of Sponge Bob merchandise. He would just have to wait for the rest of the episode. After changing in to his Lol (Loss of life) robes as he fondly called them, he popped into McDonald's for a quick snack. Still munching on the last of his Big Mac, he hurried through the deserted corridors of_ 'ye olde deathe shoppe. _He heard an AWFUL racket issuing from the ballroom, he stuck his head inside the door just long enough to register the awful décor, awful music, and Dreadful, terrible, appalling, and absolutely AWFUL dancing. And then... he saw the obvious cause of it all. Voldemort was wearing his "Kiss me I'm Irish" t-shirt, his cowboy hat, his tutu, his shin-guards and his hand-knitted scarf…thing, and his Harry Potter shoes--for walking a mile in--. Unfortunately for Snape, Voldemort had just spotted him.

"Severus! So pleased you could make it! Come, come! Dance! I

Have an idea! Wormtail? I want you to get every ones attention.

We're going to do the Chicken Dance!"

"Yes Master. Attention! It is time to do the Chicken Dance. If you will all form a line, I will start the music."

And so it was that Snape came to be doing the Chicken Dance.

HI! Beta'd by the infamous spell checker with help from Melodey70. Read her stuff! It's not that good but she's my friend so read it any ways. (She nearly killed me for that comment. Oh no! Here she comes!) !Runsandhides! Seeyall then.


	2. More Odd Obbsessions? NAW

Chapter 2

Same old dudes. This is out because I felt a desperate need to post something. I do not own this (Harry Potter or other wise) and if you have somehow got that idea St. Mungoes should be your next stop.

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Dumbledore looked up from his laptop irritably. Here he had been passing the time quite comfortably on Neopets and one of those stupid Auror people was bothering him again.

"What?" He snapped

"Well…" the Auror shuffled his feet, " It's just that I've been doing those surveillance cameras on _'ye olde deathe shoppe'_ like you requested and well, some of this stuff is quite disturbing."

"All right I'll take a look at them just give me a second to put my lipstick-I mean cricket stick away."

Several minutes later------c

"Well, well, well, Severus really should get out more often." Dumbledore murmured. Voldemort had transfigured Snapes clothing. He was wearing neon pink bell-bottom jeans with a LOT of sparkles; his shirt was red and gold with a picture of a lion cub playing in field of flowers. He was wearing a pink peace sign necklace and a pink bandana in his hair. Which had been died pink with blue high lights. He had on high-heeled strap sandals, also pink, with orange knee high socks. And of course he was doing the infamous chicken dance. Avery was the only one of the inner circle not there. Even Lucie had been broken out of Azkaban for the special occasion. Avery was still being punished for false info. All of the other Death Scoffers were speculating on how to be banned from daces without being crucio'd. Or killed.

Lucie and Bellatrix joked about being better of in Azkaban. Repeatedly.

Random scoffer # 24 was of the opinion that even the (gasps all around) Muggle world was better than this. (He had gone into hiding there) He also mentioned a list he had seen once… something about "103 ways to annoy the Dark Lord" maybe….


End file.
